But it gets better.
I got hosed!
Mo was recently "watering my plants" or basically, just playing with the hose in the backyard. He knows that he's not supposed to soak me (or anyone else) and the punishment is immediate time-out.
He turned quickly and sprayed me across the legs.
I told him, "OK, that's it. I'm turning off the water."
He knows that's our deal. But the little wheels were turning.
He flicked the hose at me again.
"Time out!" I declared, striding toward the spigot.
Only the spigot was halfway across the backyard from where I was standing. And Mo's no dummy. He knew he was already in time-out.
So the little stinker chased me with the hose the whole way back, as I dashed to the spigot and shut off the water as fast as I could. That kid completely soaked me! I was drenched.
Our neighbor later told my husband it was one of the funniest things he's ever seen.
I explained that when you split something, it's only fair if one person does the splitting and the other picks their half.
He wanted to split the square, but he broke off one piece much smaller than the other.
He looked up at me. Paused for a second. Then popped both pieces in his mouth!
"Hey!" I yelled. "Spit that out in the sink right now!"
He chewed faster.
"If you don't spit that out, you're going in time-out!"
He turned on his heel, and ran right to the time-out spot, chewing all the while.
And he's right. Time-out is totally worth it if it means soaking your mom with a hose and getting the whole square of chocolate to yourself.