Sure, I want to get more sleep, lose 10 pounds and sell my screenplay for a million bucks this year. But if none of that happens, I'd still be a very happy mama if the Booger Boys would stick to these five resolutions:
1. This year let me use the toilet without an audience. (Bonus points if I can take a bath without someone pounding on the door, screaming and/or crying.)
2. Let me find only minimally harmful objects inside my nicer footwear - unlike the yogurt drink discovered in my new boots this morning.
3. Use your clever little brains for good and not evil. Heck, I would probably settle for 3/4 good and 1/4 evil.
4. Only break the cheap stuff, and leave the electronics and furniture in their shabby-but-still-functioning state.
5. Keep the swearing, bodily functions (you know which ones I mean) and embarrassing stories within the walls of our home. Or at least within our inner circle of friends and family.
1 year ago